04022014

Today is my grandpa D's birthday.

Normally, with any of the other Lost Relatives, this would be a day of reflection and fond memories. But somehow, sometime shortly after my grandmother died and when his biological family made their appearance into his life, I lost him. He was no longer my Grandpa; he was just my Grandma's second husband.

It sucks. Yes, I got something his biological daughter's kids didn't get: I had him as my childhood Grandpa. But as an adult, my previous status as the First Grandkid was irrelevant, and somehow, possession became the objective with his blood kin. Possession of his stuff, of his real estate, of his vehicles, of his (and my Grandmother's) cars, of the antiques carefully selected by my grandmother over their 30+ years together, and of course of the man himself, who estate would leave them sitting pretty when he passed.

"Spend it, Gramps!" I urged him, "Live! Do fun stuff! Don't worry about leaving a penny behind, worry instead about enjoying what you have!"

He didn't. Not once. That family banished him to a convalescent home once, while they used his money to go on a big family cruise. Ultimately, I was the one who sprung him out of there when he tearfully told me he wanted to go home. He had his own place, and besides - I was the one stopping by there to take him to dinner or cook and take out the trash and clean Fifi's litterbox.

The day he died, I was lost. He married my Grandma before I was born, he was always Grandpa.

Sobbing, I stumbled from Grandpa's bedroom toward the garage door; I wanted to sit in my Grandma's 1969 Cougar and weep behind the wheel of her car.

The car was gone.

He gave it away. Over and over, I had offered to buy it from him, and he gave it instead to one of his daughter's kids. And didn't tell me.

In the end, they ended up with everything: the cars, the antiques, the real estate, the money. In the end they got it all, successfully scheming and manipulating and having the will changed over and over.

Whatever. Even though he was no longer my Grandpa, in the end, I still won. I won something they could never ever have: I had him as my childhood Grandpa, and no amount of money would ever take that away.