hah

I was having a conversation with a very nice lady with whom I worked a lot last year with kitty rescues; she needed my help again, and kept apologizing that she keeps coming to me, but explained that nobody else helps her.

She then asked me what was wrong with these ladies. "Why are they so mean? Why are they so angry?" she asked.

Now, keep in mind: this woman is the very model of a Nice Suburban Christian Soccer Mom. Super sweet, as in walks the walk and not just talks the talk. Mid-fifties, perhaps. Drives a minivan, has two teenaged kids, a husband, and a full time job. So nice, when I commented that Simon keeps eating my shoes - they very next time she brought me kittens for rescue, she brought me shoes. Such a truly, genuinely nice lady.

Which is why she was so taken aback when I said, "No, Honey. You have to look at the common thread that binds all cat rescuers."

"A love for animals?" she ventured. "A willingness to try to make the world a better place?"

I laughed. "No, nothing like that. Think of the worst, most odious people you've spoken to. And remember; the reason we do rescue? A basic, fundamental inability to form and sustain meaningful human relationships."

Her shock was so gratifying.

And yet: it's totally true. 

I shared this anecdote on Facebook (edited, naturally) and somehow it's lead to (1) people assuring me that I am charming and wonderful and not odious at all, and (2) people telling me that I just need to close my eyes and imagine Mr Perfect, just make myself a visualization of everything I would want in a man, and the Universe will hear me, and deliver precisely what I've asked for.

There are two problems with this theory: the first, is that every time I close my eyes, what I visualize is you; secondly, the universe seems to hear this as a plea for emotionally unavailable narcissists who are heavily burdened with both baggage and a vaguely described marital status.

Oh well.